First Day

 I'm starting this blog as almost a diary. I probably will say the craziest things on this blog but it's the most open I'll ever be. When I was younger, I always loved to write and make my own stories. This is a story of my life....my everyday life while I'm trying to figure who I am in this world. We should start with my biggest problem which is sex. Sex feels so good almost as if nothing else matters in that moment then the moment is over, and I'm left back on earth. I tried love for the first time at 16 but I lost my virginity at 15. Romantic love is so exhilarating it opened me up to a whole new world, a whole new feeling. I loved him so much I stopped prioritizing myself....my life. When he left, I never healed from it I just kept going on with life...really, I started hoeing. I just wanted that feeling back but why? Most of the time we would argue over the dumbest things I can't even remember over what now. Then the other times he was my best friend, he listened to every detail of my life good or bad, but this blog isn't about him. I'm sure I'll bring him up again since he's a part of my story so for story's sake we're going to call him Tony. I think that I constantly remind myself of the hurt to remember how much I loved him. Have you ever been so in love with someone you love the way they breath? When he walked into a room, I could feel him before I saw him. I loved the way he his skin felt, I loved the way we had deep conversations. I loved the way I allowed him to see all parts of me. I never had a space to be 100 percent myself nor have I ever allowed anyone to know me the way he has. Oh, you thought I was talking about Tony? Absolutely not we're talking about "West". Now West really taught me how to act like you were completely in love with someone but to actually be the furthers thing from it. I think this small back story is important because I want to get to the bottom of all these feelings I been feeling. This blog may be all over the place...that's why it's called confused twenties because I'm supposed to be an adult but I really don't know what I'm doing

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