10:32
Today I don't feel as hopeless as I was before. Although I'm still lost and trying to find my way, I think there may be a way out of this. I think that writing is huge part of that, I always said that it feels like no one will ever understand me, but I understand me perfectly fine. This way I get to look back on my thoughts and process them as if they weren't my own so I can give myself non bias advice. Anyway, I know I will find my way back to God. He's been popping up in places I least expected him to let me know he never left my side. I saw an old friend not too long ago and I thought we were going to have sex but just talked about God most of the time. We didn't even have sex which I was really proud of myself because as I talked about before I'm trying to flee from lust. I miss spending time with my friends and being outside, but I don't think it's time yet. I know I need this time of isolation to work on self-discipline. I get distracted from my goals, priorities and sadly enough myself. This new mindset I need for my new life I know I can keep the same friends because they are God fearing women. They are so sweet and understanding I couldn't ask for better to be around me.
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